For those keeping up it’s been almost 10 months since McNulty walked out of our lives. It’s gone by pretty fast I must say. Probably because I’ve been busy getting on with it and also riding the rollercoaster otherwise known as my relationship with the Joker. That relationship can now also be filed under the “splitsville” category. I don’t have much to say about it because it hurts like a mofo right now. When it was good it was awesome and when it wasn’t it was death by a thousand paper cuts.

Today I’m thinking about New York. Mainly because I think I need an escape hatch and there’s not many places on earth I’d rather be than in NYC. It equals happy. I’m not booking my flights at this point because I promised myself I wouldn’t until the divorce was finalised (as a reward of sorts), because I know I can’t run away from my brain and my heart, because I had so wanted to go there with the Joker and because my relationship with my NYC-based sister is a little brittle right now.

There are other peripheral life things going on which mean I need to stay put, clear my brain and get through the next few months as calmly as possible. I’m not so good at calm or rational or sensible; it’ll be a bit of a challenge.

So I’m going to day dream about doughnuts and Momofuku duck and lobster rolls and walking along the Highline and day time happy hour $5 Bloody Marys. I’m going to convince myself that going alone will be even more awesomer than going with the Joker. I’m going to choose happy. And I’m going to stay in a New York state of mind until I’m back there very soon.