Tomorrow is the start of August. I’m excited about August. There are special things happening.
A day which isn’t meant to mean anything but means a lot to me.
A big birthday for someone very special to me.
August was meant to be the end of something but looks like it won’t be. It’s the month before September and for the past six months or so it’s been SEPTEMBER in my mind. A month of change, a looming month, a pivotal month. But now it’s unlikely September will be that month so I’m refocusing on August and letting September go, setting it free.
It’s amazing how some days seem like a battle, like nothing will ever work out, like nothing is worth the trouble… and other days everything seems so easy, what will be will be, the future’s not ours to see (nod: Doris Day), life is just how it is, nothing more, nothing less.
This time last year I was getting ready for the New York trip with the Joker. My goodness I love New York, it’s my happy place. I yearn for the streets and the light and the smell and the bars and the $1 oyster happy hour, the surprises around each corner, walking, my sister. I want to go again; often I get an attack of NEW YORK. My brain starts to work out the logistics of just going, next week. But I don’t. I’m an adult, of sorts. It hasn’t much to do with August… except I’ve been to New York in August/September two years in a row and my heart is telling me to go.
But instead I’m going to stay right here and jump into August feet first… and see where the road takes me.
I don’t know why I’m wading into these murky waters. I’m quite cranky about the social/media storm that’s swept through this week. Cranky and confused and sad and irritated. WTF is going on here folks? Because I don’t actually know or understand what’s just happened here (unlike all the other commentators, amateur and professional alike, who seem to have very firm opinions on everything) I have a need to just spew out my thoughts and see what they look like.
As a long time Sydney Swans supporter and member I have watched just about every single one of Adam Goodes’ professional games since he joined my Swannies in 1999. He’s one of a rare breed of professional sportspeople these days – the one team player – and I have a warm place in my cold heart for him because of this and many other reasons. To cut a long story short, he’s a top bloke.
But the storm around him is about the booing. Since he called out the teenage girl for referring to him as an “ape” opposition supporters have started the unfortunate spectacle of booing him whenever he touches the ball. Now this has been going on for a while but this week it has exploded into a shit fight and I’m not sure why. While there have been murmurs of “racism” it has now become a full blown, all-in brawl. The media heavyweights are into it, the social media nobodies are into it, everyone has an opinion and yet I’m stuck wondering what it’s all about.
Are the AFL supporters booing Adam Goodes racist? I don’t know. They don’t boo the other aboriginal players or players from other racial backgrounds. Is it true that they are booing him because he milks the umpires for penalties (as some are claiming)? If that’s true why aren’t these supporters booing the many other players who also do this? Are they booing him because he is a previous Australian of the Year and as such a “tall poppy” and in need of some cutting down? Again, he became Australian of the Year at the beginning of 2014 and the booing started just a few months ago.
I don’t really understand this phenomenon of booing Goodsey because all the reasons being put forward do not make sense. I suspect the people booing him do not understand themselves why they’re doing it. Therefore they are dickheads.
I’m kind of cranky that there is, as always, a call out for “someone” to do “something”. I’m a bit unclear as to what that “something” that “someone” should be doing is. Possibly the AFL could be chucking out the boo-ers from games and I see some merit in this argument. It would probably only take a few exited offenders to make it stop. But do we want booing stopped altogether? I say not. I love a good boo at a game. Nothing filled me with joy more than booing Jason Akermanis back in the day. Why? I don’t know… he was just such a great villain. Was it stupid? Sure. Is a bunch of grown men in short shorts chasing a ball around a field for 2 hours while a bunch of people drinking overpriced beer shout and cheer and swear stupid? Sure.
I don’t want booing stopped. What if they stop cheering? What if we’re offending the people not being cheered by our one sided cheering? Where does it end? What if they stopped me making lascivious comments about the players I may want to um, do inappropriate cougar-y type things with? I think I stand for people being able to say stupid things at the footy (is that enough of a platform to start a political party?). That doesn’t mean I want people to boo Adam Goodes…
Where does all this leave us? Buggered if I know. We have a bunch of morons booing a terrific footy player and an all round great man for reasons unfathomable to themselves as much as to the general public. We now have a social shit fight with lots of heated rhetoric which amounts to a big fat nothing at the end of the day.
Unfortunately this is not something, like gay marriage or medical cannabis, which can be legislated. You can’t legislate against stupid.
All I know is Adam has had a wonderful career at the Swans, as an AFL player with two Brownlow Medals, as an indigenous man trying to make things better for his people and all Australians. He deserves better than this. I sincerely hope he doesn’t leave the game at this time feeling defeated because he’s much bigger and better than this.
This blog is badly neglected. I don’t know why. Well I do: mainly laziness and an “I’ll get around to it” attitude. I think about it often, every day just about. I read other blogs and I intend to visit mine. Regularly I have an idea for a blog post that feels so very important at that time, it just about writes itself in my mind instantly… usually when I’m driving or pushing the trolley around Coles or doing one of a gazillion other things. But when I’m actually near a computer all inspiration evaporates and I lazily spend my time reading others’ writing or mindlessly scrolling Facebook. Bad habits: I’m completely made up of them.
There is a lot of stuff swirling around me right now. Almost every aspect of my life has either undergone changes or is about to undergo changes and yet I can’t write about most of it. Some is personal, some is temporarily secret, some is hard to grasp and wrangle into submission with a couple of hundred words in a blog post.
I walk a constant and ever evolving tightrope between gratefulness, joy, satisfaction, plenty and yearning, frustration, crazy anger, defeat.
I want to process my life and thoughts through my writing but I am overwhelmed by too much and not enough.
By no means is this a whingey post. I didn’t pop up to whine about anything. Life is pretty fucking marvellous really. Wouldn’t be dead for quids. I guess I’m just trying to put into words where I’m at right now. Somewhere and nowhere, like everybody else.
I’ll leave you with my go to song of the moment. You know I’ve been having a very public, very annoying yet totally beautiful love affair with Mr Frank Turner for the last two years and this song has been my almost daily mantra for the past few weeks. I’m all about the lyrics and this song says everything I need to remember right now.
If Ever I Stray
Forgive me someone, for I have sinned
And I know not where I should begin
Some days it feels like you just can’t win
No matter what you do or say.
Things didn’t kill me but I don’t feel stronger
Life is short but it feels much longer
You’ve lost that drive, you’ve lost that hunger
To pull yourself through the day.
But if ever I stray from the path I follow
Take me down to the English Channel
Throw me in where the water is shallow
And then drag me on back to shore!
‘Cos love is free and life is cheap
As long as I’ve got me a place to sleep
Clothes on my back and some food to eat
I can’t ask for anything more
Come on everybody sing it 1, 2, 3, 4
We’ve all got secrets that we hold inside
The worst little things that we try and defy
The worst one of all that you never can hide
Is that you’re never quite as strong as you sound
So I’m sorry baby, for the times I’ve hurt you
Sorry friends, for the times I desert you
Most days it feels like I don’t deserve you
No wonder that you’re all still around
But if ever I stray from the path I follow
Take me down to the English Channel
Throw me in where the water is shallow
And then drag me on back to shore!
‘Cos love is free and life is cheap
As long as I’ve got me a place to sleep
Clothes on my back and some food to eat
I can’t ask for anything more
Come on everybody sing it 1, 2, 3, 4
Come on and join me in the water
Swim for hope
Sometimes it’s hard to remember
I couldn’t do this on my own
If ever I stray from the path I follow
Take me down to the English Channel
Throw me in where the water is shallow
And then drag me on back to shore!
‘Cos love is free and life is cheap
As long as I’ve got me a place to sleep
Clothes on my back and some food to eat
I can’t ask for anything more
I can’t ask for anything more
The path I chose isn’t straight and narrow
It wanders ’round like a drunken fellow
Some days it’s hard for me to follow
But if you’ve got my back I’ll go on.
If you’ve got my back I’ll go on.