Falling Slowly

A fellow blogger and Frank Turner fan (hi VB) messaged me to bluntly ask “will you be posting again soon?”. Good question VB. I’ve been a shitty blogger for a very long time. Ideas float past and I briefly consider writing something and then they vanish over the horizon. VB’s prompt made me think that I should write something, but what…

So last night I saw one of my favourite musicals Once for the third time and the signature song came to mind as I started to write this.

It’s been an interesting six months in my dating life this year – since I broke my own “never dating again” (who was I kidding??!!) rule. Of course the year started with the unexpected gift and then heartache of meeting A. We remain friends and he has moved in with his gorgeous new girl and I’m so very happy for him – it was worth the hard decisions we had to make. (I’m so fucking mature I hate myself.)

Since then there were the two Js. The first seemed perfect. Political, musical, lived a life.  Gave mindblowing conversation. First date was a big fat intellectual WOW! Big potential. After a bit of promising texting he disappears into a cloud of middle aged existential angst and I decide I can’t possibly do this shit ever again. We saw each other a few more times and he’s a great bloke but I put on my mature hat again and let it go (let it go… sing it with me now…).

Added to the friendzone.

Then comes along the second J. From the start some odd serendipitous snap moments (You have adopted kids? I have adopted kids!). I can’t say too much about this J because if I told you I’d have to kill you. Let’s just say he opened some doors onto some rooms. My guide into a world I’d wanted to explore but didn’t know how to get in. We had some motherforking adventures. Bucket list moments. But he’s as ready to have a relationship as I’m ready to marry Donald Trump so off I go to dig out my forking mature hat AGAIN. FFS.

Friendzone getting bloody crowded folks.

Sometimes, when you least expect it, something wonderful happens. First date with N was nice. We ordered the least first date friendly food you can imagine (chicken wings and nachos) and giggled at ourselves making a mess. I tend to feed off the energy of others so the two extroverted Js probably made me seem more outgoing than I actually am. N’s quiet energy made me quiet. But right away I liked his sweet smile and gentle confidence.

Over the past couple of months we’ve grown into each other, spending more and more time together. It’s been so easy. No bullshit. Just doing things together because we enjoy each other’s company and enjoy similar things. OK… he’s into electronic music which has never been my thing. Not enough guitar solos I keep telling him. But he’s in a band which plays children’s electronic instruments and one of these “instruments” is a Donald Rumsfeld doll…. how can I possibly resist that level of crazy?!


He’s smart, funny, sexy, musical – seriously musical, knows who Nick Cave is (sorry, in joke), patient, thoughtful, makes the best bloody gravy I’ve ever had… am I gushing, I’m gushing. It’s all a bit glorious really.

So I find myself six months into my never-dating-again-year … falling slowly.